The #1 Cracked Gist

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What is the Cracked Gist?

The focus of each Cheat Sheet is called The Gist. Think of the concise humor of the Craptions section crossed with our Pop Culture articles. Your goal here is to summarize everything anyone needs to know about the subject of your cheat sheet in one hilarious paragraph (500 character limit).

A few things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t feel the need to rip every movie that you write a gist for. It’s perfectly fine to have a positive, passionate opinion about a film. OR: You don't have to love the movie, but you don't have to hate it either. Being negative does not mean you are being funny. We are never dismissive in our pop-culture articles.
  2. Focus on contributing to movies you have seen, and thought about.
  3. Avoid using the first joke that pops into your head. We're not looking for you to summarize the jokes other people would make. We're looking for you to make interesting and unique observations about the subject you're summarizing.
  4. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. Sometimes, well-placed profanity can help a joke land. Most of the time, a swear word makes your joke feel forced.
  5. There's no one correct way to write a Gist. If you can summarize everything we need to know about the movie in 10 words, that can be funny. It can also come off as glib. If you're having a tough time figuring out how to strike that balance, go to the movie section of Cracked, and study up.

Here are some samples that should give you a good idea of the wide variety of Gists that can work:
The Dark Knight
Independence Day

  • +19

Tom Hanks remembered that he sucks at dramatic roles long enough to shine in this comic piece about a bunch of ladies (plus Madonna), who play pro baseball when the men go off to fight Nazis. They do pretty well, but act like a bunch of little bitches when the men come back home and want their spot in the lineup. Rosie O'Donnell flexes her acting muscle to play a butch lesbian, and apparently at least one actress responded to the casting call for "ridiculously ugly woman."

starlightmusic
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Movie Clips from: A League of Their Own

A League of Their Own (1992)

Source: TMBDb.org

Information Not Available

Consensus: Sentimental and light, but still thoroughly charming, A League of Their Own is buoyed by solid performances from a wonderful cast.

Overview
  • Rating:
    PG (USA)
  • Theatrical Release:
    July 01, 1992
  • Budget:
    $40,000,000
  • Box Office:
    Not Available
  • Runtime:
    2 hrs 8 min
  • Produced by:
    Robert Greenhut
  • Screenplay by:
    Lowell Ganz Babaloo Mandel
Director
Penny Marshall
Cast
Tom Hanks Jimmy Dugan
Geena Davis Dottie Hinson
Madonna Mae Mordabito
Lori Petty Kit Keller
Rosie O'Donnell Doris Murphy
Freebase CC-BY
Source: A League of Their Own on Freebase, licensed under CC-BY
Cracked Gists
500 characters left

  1. Tom Hanks remembered that he sucks at dramatic roles long enough to shine in this comic piece about a bunch of ladies (plus Madonna), who play pro baseball when the men go off to fight Nazis. They do pretty well, but act like a bunch of little bitches when the men come back home and want their spot in the lineup. Rosie O'Donnell flexes her acting muscle to play a butch lesbian, and apparently at least one actress responded to the casting call for "ridiculously ugly woman."

    starlightmusic
    • +19

  2. A League of Their Own tells the story of a women's baseball league formed in the 1940's, while all of the menfolk were away at war. Along the way, it teaches its audience an important lesson about sibling rivalry, as Lori Petty learns that the best way to come out from under her sister's shadow is to beat her at baseball. This is a slight improvement over beating one's sister with a baseball bat, which was the preferred method of sibling independence declarations prior to 1992.

    sephira
    • +3

  3. Girls can play baseball and Tom Hanks can pee with the best of them.

    whatmeworry
    • +2

  4. WWII is happening, then shit got real. All the real American heroes leave America presumably to kill nazis. Leaving a bunch of girls at home trying to do manly jobs, like playing baseball. Tom Hanks manages to avoid the war by staying drunk for the entire thing. Rosie O'donnell and Madonna sing a song about girls playing baseball. Hitler dies, girls return to their respective kitchens.

    SenorCovert
    • +1

  5. "There's no crying in BASEBALL!" Rosie ODonell gets introduced to the world of movies, and chews the scenery for the next twenty years.

    Imogene
    • 0
See All 6 Gists

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