The #1 Cracked Gist

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What is the Cracked Gist?

The focus of each Cheat Sheet is called The Gist. Think of the concise humor of the Craptions section crossed with our Pop Culture articles. Your goal here is to summarize everything anyone needs to know about the subject of your cheat sheet in one hilarious paragraph (500 character limit).

A few things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t feel the need to rip every movie that you write a gist for. It’s perfectly fine to have a positive, passionate opinion about a film. OR: You don't have to love the movie, but you don't have to hate it either. Being negative does not mean you are being funny. We are never dismissive in our pop-culture articles.
  2. Focus on contributing to movies you have seen, and thought about.
  3. Avoid using the first joke that pops into your head. We're not looking for you to summarize the jokes other people would make. We're looking for you to make interesting and unique observations about the subject you're summarizing.
  4. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. Sometimes, well-placed profanity can help a joke land. Most of the time, a swear word makes your joke feel forced.
  5. There's no one correct way to write a Gist. If you can summarize everything we need to know about the movie in 10 words, that can be funny. It can also come off as glib. If you're having a tough time figuring out how to strike that balance, go to the movie section of Cracked, and study up.

Here are some samples that should give you a good idea of the wide variety of Gists that can work:
The Dark Knight
Independence Day

  • +2

Don't be confused: the poster may be nearly identical to the one for The Rock's version of "Walking Tall" - Lazy Day in the Art Department, I guess - but the plot is completely different. The Rock was a vet fighting corruption is his small town, whereas Diesel is a DEA agent fighting corruption on the border. Both movies are also set in a post-apocalyptic world where makeshift bats have replaced guns, so their heroes have to be in really good shape. Timothy Olyphant plays Neal McDonough.

bunnylefevre
Add Your Gist

A Man Apart (2003)

Source: TMBDb.org

Information Not Available
Information Not Available
Overview
  • Rating:
    R (USA)
  • Theatrical Release:
    April 04, 2003
  • Budget:
    $36,000,000
  • Box Office:
    $44,350,926
  • Runtime:
    1 hrs 50 min
  • Produced by:
    F. Gary Gray Vin Diesel
  • Screenplay by:
    Paul Scheuring
Director
F. Gary Gray
Cast
Freebase CC-BY
Source: A Man Apart on Freebase, licensed under CC-BY
Cracked Gists
500 characters left

  1. Don't be confused: the poster may be nearly identical to the one for The Rock's version of "Walking Tall" - Lazy Day in the Art Department, I guess - but the plot is completely different. The Rock was a vet fighting corruption is his small town, whereas Diesel is a DEA agent fighting corruption on the border. Both movies are also set in a post-apocalyptic world where makeshift bats have replaced guns, so their heroes have to be in really good shape. Timothy Olyphant plays Neal McDonough.

    bunnylefevre
    • +2

  2. A true story based on the life of Din Viesel, Vin plays a tough as nails cop searching for his missing parts. He has to blow up shit and be ripped, all while looking like some morose motherfucker. ACTING! Featuring the hit song "Detachable Penis" by King Missile.

    Omnicron01
    • +1

  3. Sean Vetter is a DEA agent who along with his long time friend Demetrius Hicks, protects the US/Mexican border. When the pair busts one ruthless latin caricature he is replaced by a even more ruthlesser caricature, Diablo (Vietnamese for Devil). Diablo tries to assasinate Vetter but inadvertently kills his wife, and AWWW SHIT! What ensues is a white knuckle thrill ride, but the real treat is actually Diesel's acting chops that are on full display in the form of scowling.

    PrimeTime
    • +1

  4. When undercover DEA agent Sean Vetter arrests a drug baron, a new kingpin fills the void. Nature abhors a vacuum -- apart from the one between Vin Diesel's ears, that is. This new kingpin sends gunmen to Sean's house. Sean's wife dies as a result of the crossfire, despite his keeping pressure off the wounds and not calling an ambulance. There's only one possible response -- for Sean to take down the kingpin himself, with no one to help apart from as many friends as he can emotionally blackmail into coming with him.

    grahamrix
    • 0

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