The #1 Cracked Gist

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What is the Cracked Gist?

The focus of each Cheat Sheet is called The Gist. Think of the concise humor of the Craptions section crossed with our Pop Culture articles. Your goal here is to summarize everything anyone needs to know about the subject of your cheat sheet in one hilarious paragraph (500 character limit).

A few things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t feel the need to rip every movie that you write a gist for. It’s perfectly fine to have a positive, passionate opinion about a film. OR: You don't have to love the movie, but you don't have to hate it either. Being negative does not mean you are being funny. We are never dismissive in our pop-culture articles.
  2. Focus on contributing to movies you have seen, and thought about.
  3. Avoid using the first joke that pops into your head. We're not looking for you to summarize the jokes other people would make. We're looking for you to make interesting and unique observations about the subject you're summarizing.
  4. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. Sometimes, well-placed profanity can help a joke land. Most of the time, a swear word makes your joke feel forced.
  5. There's no one correct way to write a Gist. If you can summarize everything we need to know about the movie in 10 words, that can be funny. It can also come off as glib. If you're having a tough time figuring out how to strike that balance, go to the movie section of Cracked, and study up.

Here are some samples that should give you a good idea of the wide variety of Gists that can work:
The Dark Knight
Independence Day

  • +8

Freddy's back and he's talking a lot, now. This time, he's killing off the last of the Elm Street kids, who all happen to be in a psych ward run by Nancy, the one he never killed from part 1. Each kid learns that they have a special power inside their dreams, and the only one worth a shit is one who becomes a lighting-slinging wizard - four seconds before he gets stabbed in the torso, following a smartass catch phrase. More catch phrases, more killing, Freddy dies. Or DOES HE? Hint: Nope!

John Cheese
Add Your Gist

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Source: TMBDb.org

Information Not Available

Consensus: No consensus yet.

Overview
  • Rating:
    R (USA)
  • Theatrical Release:
    February 27, 1987
  • Budget:
    $5,000,000
  • Box Office:
    $44,793,222
  • Runtime:
    1 hrs 36 min
  • Produced by:
    Wes Craven Robert Shaye
  • Screenplay by:
    Wes Craven Frank Darabont Chuck Russell Bruce Wagner
Director
Chuck Russell
Cast
Heather Langenkamp Nancy Thompson
Craig Wasson Dr. Neil Gordon
Patricia Arquette Kristen Parker
Robert Englund Freddy Krueger
Nan Martin Amanda Krueger
Freebase CC-BY
Source: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors on Freebase, licensed under CC-BY
Cracked Gists
500 characters left

  1. Freddy's back and he's talking a lot, now. This time, he's killing off the last of the Elm Street kids, who all happen to be in a psych ward run by Nancy, the one he never killed from part 1. Each kid learns that they have a special power inside their dreams, and the only one worth a shit is one who becomes a lighting-slinging wizard - four seconds before he gets stabbed in the torso, following a smartass catch phrase. More catch phrases, more killing, Freddy dies. Or DOES HE? Hint: Nope!

    John Cheese
    • +8

  2. The last surviving children from Elm Street band together to fight Freddy Krueger. When they die an psychiatrist places a cross on Freddy's bones and he spins and disappears. At the end of the movie a dollhouse is finally able to afford it's electrical bills.

    Groucho2010
    • +3

  3. Nancy Thompson, the epic heroine from part 1, works at a mental institution where she meets Kristine Parker (Patricia Arquette in her first role). Through Kristine, Nancy realizes Freddy has returned to take out the last of the elm street children, all residents of the mental hospital. Using group therapy, Nancy teaches them how to use powers found only in their dreams to fight off Freddy, hopefully, for good. But clearly not because he returns in part 4.

    JonnieWright
    • +3

  4. Elm Street 3 sees Freddie Kruger return with a vengeance, and a girth of terrible puns, to take on the Dream Warriors: the collective super identities of a group of psychiatric patients caught up in Freddies terrifying dream world. The resulting face off goes about as well as you would expect given that the teens have powers so utterly useless that Im 99% certain someone watched this movie and immediately wrote the Ben Stiller film "Mystery Men"

    burjennio
    • +2

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