The #1 Cracked Gist

What is this?

What is the Cracked Gist?

The focus of each Cheat Sheet is called The Gist. Think of the concise humor of the Craptions section crossed with our Pop Culture articles. Your goal here is to summarize everything anyone needs to know about the subject of your cheat sheet in one hilarious paragraph (500 character limit).

A few things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t feel the need to rip every movie that you write a gist for. It’s perfectly fine to have a positive, passionate opinion about a film. OR: You don't have to love the movie, but you don't have to hate it either. Being negative does not mean you are being funny. We are never dismissive in our pop-culture articles.
  2. Focus on contributing to movies you have seen, and thought about.
  3. Avoid using the first joke that pops into your head. We're not looking for you to summarize the jokes other people would make. We're looking for you to make interesting and unique observations about the subject you're summarizing.
  4. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. Sometimes, well-placed profanity can help a joke land. Most of the time, a swear word makes your joke feel forced.
  5. There's no one correct way to write a Gist. If you can summarize everything we need to know about the movie in 10 words, that can be funny. It can also come off as glib. If you're having a tough time figuring out how to strike that balance, go to the movie section of Cracked, and study up.

Here are some samples that should give you a good idea of the wide variety of Gists that can work:
The Dark Knight
Independence Day

  • +4

The original Hostel taught us all that torture is hilarious and edgy, and that if you make movies about guys getting their fingers cut off Quentin Tarantino will call you and make you his best friend and invite you to his sleepovers. Hostel 2 teaches us that torture is even more hilarious and edgy when performed on and by beautiful young women. Hostel 3 is expected to feature only orphan-on-orphan violence, and will replace all of the torture instruments used with disabled kittens.

sephira
Add Your Gist

Hostel 2 (2007)

Source: TMBDb.org

Information Not Available

Consensus: Offering up more of the familiar sadism and gore, Hostel: Part II will surely thrill horror fans.

Overview
  • Rating:
  • Theatrical Release:
    June 07, 2007
  • Budget:
    $10,200,000
  • Box Office:
    $35,246,833
  • Runtime:
    1 hrs 34 min
  • Produced by:
    Quentin Tarantino Eli Roth Boaz Yakin Scott Spiegel Mike Fleiss
  • Screenplay by:
    Eli Roth
Director
Eli Roth
Cast
Roger Bart
Jay Hernandez Paxton
Heather Matarazzo Lorna
Bijou Phillips Whitney
Jordan Ladd Stephanie
Freebase CC-BY
Source: Hostel 2 on Freebase, licensed under CC-BY
Cracked Gists
500 characters left
  1. The original Hostel taught us all that torture is hilarious and edgy, and that if you make movies about guys getting their fingers cut off Quentin Tarantino will call you and make you his best friend and invite you to his sleepovers. Hostel 2 teaches us that torture is even more hilarious and edgy when performed on and by beautiful young women. Hostel 3 is expected to feature only orphan-on-orphan violence, and will replace all of the torture instruments used with disabled kittens.

    sephira
    • +4
  2. A guy's dick is cut off in full view of the horrified viewers. Seriously! With this big, cutting tool that seemed like it was designed for that sole purpose. What is with that? A bunch of other screaming characters have a variety of impliments inserted into their bodies but that absolutely pales in comparison to the dick scene.

    ArghZombie
    • +2

More Movies

The Wolfman

Released: January 27, 2010

Box Office: Not Available

Star Trek

Released: April 06, 2009

Box Office: $385,680,446

Easy A

Released: September 16, 2010

Box Office: $74,952,305

Elsewhere ...