The #1 Cracked Gist

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What is the Cracked Gist?

The focus of each Cheat Sheet is called The Gist. Think of the concise humor of the Craptions section crossed with our Pop Culture articles. Your goal here is to summarize everything anyone needs to know about the subject of your cheat sheet in one hilarious paragraph (500 character limit).

A few things to keep in mind:

  1. Don’t feel the need to rip every movie that you write a gist for. It’s perfectly fine to have a positive, passionate opinion about a film. OR: You don't have to love the movie, but you don't have to hate it either. Being negative does not mean you are being funny. We are never dismissive in our pop-culture articles.
  2. Focus on contributing to movies you have seen, and thought about.
  3. Avoid using the first joke that pops into your head. We're not looking for you to summarize the jokes other people would make. We're looking for you to make interesting and unique observations about the subject you're summarizing.
  4. Try to keep swearing to a minimum. Sometimes, well-placed profanity can help a joke land. Most of the time, a swear word makes your joke feel forced.
  5. There's no one correct way to write a Gist. If you can summarize everything we need to know about the movie in 10 words, that can be funny. It can also come off as glib. If you're having a tough time figuring out how to strike that balance, go to the movie section of Cracked, and study up.

Here are some samples that should give you a good idea of the wide variety of Gists that can work:
The Dark Knight
Independence Day

  • +17

Three dysfunctional friends drag their engaged buddy to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. They drink till they black out, misplace the prospective groom, and provide a cinematic tribute to male bonding, involuntary urination and projectile vomiting. The trio discover a tiger and a baby in their hotel room, are beaten up by Mike Tyson, lose teeth, wreck cars, win money, steal money and have disturbing interludes with a naked Japanese guy. The groom is located, everyone goes home, and the wedding proceeds. What happens in Vegas stays there, with the noted exceptions of quickie marriages and STDs.

jackhugo
Add Your Gist

Best Quote

  • +14
Melissa:

I just wish your friends were as mature as you.

Stu Price:

They are mature, actually. You just have to get to know them better.

[yells from outside] Phil Wenneck:

Paging Dr. Faggot. Dr. Faggot!

Stu Price:

I should go.

Melissa:

That's a good idea, Dr. Faggot.

Read More powered by IMDB

Movie Clips from: The Hangover

  1. DVD Extra: I Like You Cracked.com

  2. Behind the Scenes: The After-party Set Cracked.com

  3. DVD Extra: We Are Back! at Movie Clips

  4. Stolen Police Car at Movie Clips

  5. DVD Extra: They Do Bad Things to Me at Movie Clips

  6. My Wolf Pack at Movie Clips

  7. DVD Extra: Outtakes at Movie Clips

  8. DVD Extra: Why Chow Angry? at Movie Clips

  9. Behind the Scenes: We Spent a Lot of Money in Vegas at Movie Clips

  10. Behind the Scenes: Teaching Mike Tyson How to Punch at Movie Clips

  11. DVD Extra: "Fame" Cover at Movie Clips

  12. Paging the Doctor at Movie Clips

  13. DVD Extra: A Longtime Taser Fan at Movie Clips

  14. DVD Extra: It's Funny 'Cause He's Fat at Movie Clips

  15. We Didn't Steal Anything at Movie Clips

  16. This Can't Be Happening at Movie Clips

  17. Behind the Scenes: Filming at The Riviera at Movie Clips

The Hangover (2009)

Source: TMBDb.org

Consensus: A Las Vegas-set comedy centered around three groomsmen who lose their about-to-be-wed buddy during their drunken misadventures, then must retrace their steps in order to find him.

Consensus: With a clever script and hilarious interplay among the cast, The Hangover nails just the right tone of raunchy humor, and the non-stop laughs overshadow any flaw.

Overview
  • Rating:
    R (USA)
  • Theatrical Release:
    June 05, 2009
  • Budget:
    $35,000,000
  • Box Office:
    $459,270,619
  • Runtime:
    1 hrs 36 min
  • Produced by:
    Todd Phillips
  • Screenplay by:
    Scott Moore Jon Lucas
Director
Todd Phillips
Cast
Zach Galifianakis Alan Garner
Bradley Cooper Phil Wenneck
Heather Graham Jade
Jeffrey Tambor Sid Garner
Justin Bartha Doug
Freebase CC-BY
Source: The Hangover on Freebase, licensed under CC-BY
Cracked Gists
500 characters left

  1. Three dysfunctional friends drag their engaged buddy to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. They drink till they black out, misplace the prospective groom, and provide a cinematic tribute to male bonding, involuntary urination and projectile vomiting. The trio discover a tiger and a baby in their hotel room, are beaten up by Mike Tyson, lose teeth, wreck cars, win money, steal money and have disturbing interludes with a naked Japanese guy. The groom is located, everyone goes home, and the wedding proceeds. What happens in Vegas stays there, with the noted exceptions of quickie marriages and STDs.

    jackhugo
    • +17

  2. Somebody other than Steve Carrel from The Office finally make a hit movie even though the plot is a typical weekend at a frat house: you wake up shit faced, losing a tooth, a baby in the closet and a tiger in the bathroom and you suddenly learn your new set of wheels is a police car. And naked Japanese guys are in your trunk plus Mike Tyson wants to beat you up. The only difference of course is you don't have to find your missing best friend in time to study for your finals.

    Jerkmeister
    • +2

  3. Four men experience the dark side of Las Vegas in a bleak tale of a wedding celebration gone wrong. Spiked drinks lead to a night of encounters with gang violence, the police and a tragic single mother stripper. The next day the groom is missing The remaining trio must work through their amnesia to locate him. The plot involves self mutilation, police brutality, child abduction and adult abduction but its funny because at one point Zach Galifianakis makes a baby look as if it is masturbating.

    PeterBanning
    • +1

  4. What did we do last night? That seems to be the question on Alan, Stu, and Phil's minds. Before Doug's big wedding, the four men (Who would later be called the wolf pack by Alan) take a trip to Las Vegas for Doug's bachelor party. But, because Alan (stupidly) roofied everyone no one can remember anything from the night before. A bit of a problem when there's a tiger in the bathroom, Stu is missing a tooth, there's a baby in the closet, and Doug is missing! Did we mention Mike Tyson is in it?

    7351cisco
    • +1

  5. A groom-to-be, his two friends and a misfit go to Vegas for a bachelor party where the misfit, being a lovably innocent yet dangerously simple manchild, slips everyone a mickie and sets in motion a wild night of debauchery in which they misplace the groom. To find him, they use junk in their pockets to retrace their steps, all the while constantly and narrowly avoiding being killed by tigers, Mike Tyson, and Chinese people. Afterward, the awesome pictures taken from their night out are shown.

    shamuzi
    • +1
See All 8 Gists
Best Quote
powered by IMDB
  1. 2.
    Black Doug:

    It's funny, 'cause just the other day, me and my boy, we was wonderin' why they even call 'em roofies. Y'know what I'm talkin' 'bout?

    Stu Price:

    No. Don't know what you're talkin' 'bout.

    Black Doug:

    Why not floories, right? 'Cause when you take 'em, you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. What about groundies? That's a good new name fo' 'em.

    Alan Garner:

    Or how 'bout rapies?

    • +2
  2. 3.
    [while driving a squad car on the sidewalk and using the loudspeaker] Phil Wenneck:

    Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack.

    [to himself]
    Phil Wenneck:

    I should have been a fucking cop.

    • +2
  3. 4.
    Alan Garner:

    It was a real pleasure meeting you.

    Melissa:

    Fuck off!

    Alan Garner:

    I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.

    Melissa:

    Suck my dick.

    Alan Garner:

    No, thank you.

    • +1
  4. 5.
    Mr. Chow:

    You wanna fuck on me?

    • 0
  5. 6.
    [playing piano and singing passionately] Stu Price:

    What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers,

    [stops suddenly]
    Stu Price:

    well then we're shit out of luck.

    • 0
See More Quotes

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